Monthly Archives: February 2015

2015

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I just realized that I almost 2 months have passed since the new year began.  My latest posts have been surrounding the “black lives matter” work happening in the St Louis area.  It has been on my mind and in my heart.  I have been praying and supporting those who are in the trenches.  I will continue to do so.

I have also been fretting (meaning keenly aware of and maybe obsessing a little – definitely preoccupied) about my entry into the third part of my life. Well, unless I live to be over 90, which I suppose IS possible, I am in the last segment of my life.  Using the 4 seasons, I am in the autumn.  The body is definitely showing signs of wear and tear.  Vision is going, hearing isn’t too bad, but things are starting to sag. Hair is changing.  I am starting to forget things.  I actually am getting hot flashes.  My mountain climbing days are over!  haha  I laugh because I was never much good at climbing but now I can’t.

What surprises me is that I am not upset about it, I am not depressed or thinking that “It’s all downhill” from here as in doomsday,  Although that metaphor would be good since the hard work has been done and now I can coast.   I have been thrown into another time of disequilibrium where I am not really sure what my place/role  is in this new episode. In the past I would be very stressed, ill-at-ease, worried, and anxious but today I am relatively calm and patiently waiting for God to reveal what comes next.  The funniest thing is that this fretting about the decade change is about to be resolved because I will be one year older in just a few days.  Now I can get on with it and stop thinking I’m in a new decade.

What has come to me is that I must let go of some things to make room for others.  This has been hard to do.  After some 25 years of youth ministry, I have chosen to love those kids from afar <smiles>  that is not to be involved in the day to day work of that kind of ministry but rather help from the periphery.  I took a leave of absence from the praise band and am focusing on getting my voice back in shape as a soprano singing in my range.  I will be ever-grateful to the musicians I have worked with for giving me the opportunity to grow musically in ways I never thought possible.  Styles I’d never tired, songs I didn’t think I could do, and always a chance to feel my way into something different.  I’m also letting go of children.  Yes, I know you never REALLY let them go but you do give them the space they need. We are empty nesters now (again!) and it is all about letting go so you can be something else.  My spouse and I are discovering each other again.  This is fun.

So what is next?  I’m still in discernment but what is coming clear is that I will be doing spiritual direction and more retreat work.  I am very much drawn to the visual and musical arts.  While I have been involved in this way in the past, I seem to be moving into different areas.  I am utilizing my writing skills for liturgical work, curriculum writing, and blogging!  I look forward to what new directions I am being called.  In all things prayer is keeping me steady, patient and grateful.  I know more will be revealed.  I trust in God’s time and I am feeling gratitude for the life I have had, excitement about the life to come.

 

God Bless Those Who Work Toward Peace and Justice

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I am so grateful for all those who stand alongside those who are marginalized for one reason or another. It is not an easy place to be. It takes a lot of courage to get outside your own protected box and help those who are not so protected. Injustice is often veiled/masked in a way that you miss it unless you look hard at it. In our happy little world where we have what we need and more we can completely be unaware that there are many who are hungry, homeless, working poor, or ignored. While most people in the US have enough to eat etc, there are still many who struggle to have all basic needs met, like food AND medicine AND job security AND a decent safe place to live.  Choices have to be made and quite frankly I think it is horrible to have to do that in a country as rich as ours. Before someone says anyone can “pull themselves up by their own bootstraps” let me tell you that that phrase is nonsensical. You can’t. There are systems in place (racist, sexist, homophobic, ageist) that make it hard for people to ever escape from poverty, or have the luxury to just relax about life from time to time.  So, thank you to all those who are working to make a difference, who are trying to move our country into the 21st century, who think lives matter. Thanks for helping those who are struggling to help themselves, thank you for standing beside them. Thank you for helping those whose voices are not heard.  Thank you for supporting those who are are saying enough is enough, we are tired of fighting these systems.   The work is hard and can be so frustrating but as we inch toward real justice and yes, though it seems glacial at times, it is really the work of love and compassion. Peace is possible. Justice for all is possible, but love must be the basis for this. We have to love one another and remember that if some of us suffer and we do nothing about it, we are all the worse for it. Equality does not mean we all have the same stuff. It means we are all valued as human beings and that we all respected for who we are.  Children of God.